Laugh of the Day: CERN Portals

In June 2016, a vivid electrical storm over Geneva convinced conspiracy theorists and tabloids that CERN was opening portals in reality. Snopes debunked the claim. Image Source: Christophe Suarez / The Sun.

The American spoof magazine, The Onion, issued the following joke report in April 2017 to make fun of the latest work at CERN:

"GENEVA—Expressing deep regret over the catastrophic incident that occurred within the Large Hadron Collider, officials from the European Organization for Nuclear Research, also known as CERN, held a press conference Monday to apologize for the destruction of five parallel universes in a recent experiment. 'We are sorry to report that in conducting research involving high-powered proton-proton collisions, we inadvertently caused the implosion of five universes nearly identical to our own,' said CERN Director-General Fabiola Gianotti, adding that billions of people worldwide might have experienced momentary vertigo around 9:45 a.m. as a result of several of their alternate identities being wiped from existence. 'I’d like to emphasize that there is no need to worry, as we were able to contain the damage before our own time stream disintegrated into oblivion like the others. Furthermore, in order to perform an investigation, the LHC will be shut down for the remainder of the afternoon.' At press time, a team of CERN researchers in a parallel universe was preparing to perform the exact same experiment."

In fact, the joke is closer to reality than one might expect. Since late 2015, CERN has powered up the Large Hadron Collider to its highest levels ever to explore other dimensions by creating microscopic black holes, as reported on their Website:

In our everyday lives, we experience three spatial dimensions, and a fourth dimension of time. How could there be more? Einstein’s general theory of relativity tells us that space can expand, contract, and bend. Now if one dimension were to contract to a size smaller than an atom, it would be hidden from our view. But if we could look on a small enough scale, that hidden dimension might become visible again. Imagine a person walking on a tightrope. She can only move backward and forward; but not left and right, nor up and down, so she only sees one dimension. Ants living on a much smaller scale could move around the cable, in what would appear like an extra dimension to the tightrope-walker.

How could we test for extra dimensions? One option would be to find evidence of particles that can exist only if extra dimensions are real. Theories that suggest extra dimensions predict that, in the same way as atoms have a low-energy ground state and excited high-energy states, there would be heavier versions of standard particles in other dimensions. ...

Another way of revealing extra dimensions would be through the production of 'microscopic black holes'. What exactly we would detect would depend on the number of extra dimensions, the mass of the black hole, the size of the dimensions and the energy at which the black hole occurs. If micro black holes do appear in the collisions created by the LHC, they would disintegrate rapidly ... . They would decay into Standard Model or supersymmetric particles, creating events containing an exceptional number of tracks in our detectors, which we would easily spot. Finding more on any of these subjects would open the door to yet unknown possibilities."

World War III Projections 3: Venezuela, The First Caribbean Domino?

“Mass protest” doesn’t even begin to convey what’s happening in #Venezuelapic.twitter.com/dByJ5D55zR

— Jared C Harris 🇺🇸 (@JaredColeHarris) January 24, 2019

Today, Venezuela's government is being forced to change through a strange internal and external consensus. While the anti-Maduro parts of the Venezuelan population are justifiably happy, there is a larger dimension of these events to consider.

Image Source: Growthlines.

The alt-media conspiracist outlet, Abel Danger, predicted earlier this month that Venezuela would be the first domino to fall in a new American- and British-led initiative, which will decimate Latin America and the Caribbean Basin in a long-term series of large wars. This supposed effort follows the same model as was used to devastate the Middle East over the past several decades. From 8 January 2019, The Terrible Forthcoming Destruction of the Caribbean Basin:

"President Trump has announced the withdrawal of US combat troops from the 'Greater Middle East', but the Pentagon is still pursuing the implementation of the Rumsfeld-Cebrowski plan. This time the aim is to destroy the States of the 'Caribbean Basin'. This is nothing like the overthrow of pro-Soviet regimes, as in the 1970’s, but the destruction of all regional state structures, without consideration for friends or political enemies. ...

In a series of previous articles, we presented the SouthCom plan to provoke wars between the Latin-American nations in order to destroy the structures of all the States in the 'Caribbean Basin'.

Preparations for wars of this magnitude, intended to follow on from the conflicts in the 'Greater Middle East' according to the Rumsfeld-Cebrowski strategy, requires a decade.

After the period of economic destabilisation and that of military preparation, the actual operation should begin in the years to come by an attack on Venezuela by Brazil (supported by [Israel]), Colombia (an ally of the United States) and Guyana (in other words, the United Kingdom). It will be followed by others, beginning with Cuba and Nicaragua (the 'troïka of tyranny' according to John Bolton).

However, the original plan may be modified, particularly because of the return of the imperial ambitions of the United Kingdom which may influence the Pentagon."

The same article was reposted at Information Clearing House. It originally appeared on the Voltaire Network Website and was penned there by Thierry Meyssan. Meyssan is a left-wing French journalist and 9/11 truther who has investigated far-right movements. He has also worked for Russia Today and Odnako (Однако) and is apparently now based in Damascus, Syria. To me, it looks like he's a spy.

10 December 2018: Russia provided two nuclear-capable 'Blackjack' aka 'White Swan' bombers to Maduro's régime. Image Source: Federico Parra / AFP / Getty Images via The Guardian.

Meyssan is convinced that the European Union project will be dropped, or perhaps left to the Germans to sort out. The European powers will return to their old plans of imperial colonization abroad in competition with, and sometimes in cooperation with, the United States. Venezuela is the first domino to fall. On 15 January 2019, he wrote:

"[O]ne of the consequences of the successive ends of the bipolar and unipolar world is the re-establishment of colonial projects. One after the other, the French, Turkish and English have publicly declared the return of their colonial ambitions. We still need to know what form they will adopt in the 21st century."

While from a dubious source, if it is correct, it is terrible news for everybody. This larger context may explain Trump's plan to build a wall along the southern border of the United States. The wall construction may anticipate a widespread southern conflict and block the flow of soldiers and refugees. The Russians have provided nuclear-capable bombers and a Kalashnikov manufacturing plant to the Maduro administration. The latter has led to a spread of guns all over the Caribbean. Freelance journalist Colin Freeman has begun covering this story.

Note also that the 8 January report suggests that the Caribbean and Latin American conflict is believed to have been laid out over the past decade, prior to Donald Trump's election. This would mean that the planning for the conflict occurred under the Obama administration. If this is even partly true, it means that the 2016 American election, Brexit, the debate over the wall in the United States, the fierce political fights between liberals and conservatives, the Democrats' moves to impeach Trump, and the US government shutdown have been a big puppet show. Perhaps the puppet show kept eyes off the actual theatre of operations while pieces were moved into place.

Other small outlets made similar reports in the first half of January. As the Trade Union and Worker News in Africa put it, with yet another article by Meyssan, Goodbye Middle East, Hello Latin America. Whatever the evolution of the Venezuelan régime, nothing can justify what is being prepared against its population.