Image Source: Kashmir Broadcasting Corporation via Ivy McLemore.
Another 'Faketoshi' debuted this week and tried to claim the mantle of the anonymous Bitcoin inventor, Satoshi Nakamoto. Crypto watchers scoffed. The reveal was a hopelessly amateurish LARP. Faketoshi claimed he lost his 980,000 Bitcoins in a crashed laptop and that he deliberately uses bad English. He also does not make major decisions without checking their symbolic representations in a Chaldean numerology machine - and in the Bible.
I read Faketoshi's three-part bulletin so that you don't have to. I concluded was that this was not a Satoshi reveal at all. Beneath the blather, it seemed more sinister, a coded announcement about how Bitcoin will be used with Big Data to enslave us.
Mind you, I'm someone who concluded that Grammarly is spyware to track thoughtcrimes in writers' drafts folders.
Oh good, it's round two of "the reveal" of Faketoshi #7. First off, he's "better with code than with words" but has no clue how wallet.dat works?! pic.twitter.com/oZhsnoTpqT— Riccardo Spagni (@fluffypony) August 19, 2019
Faketoshi stated he was a Pakistani Brit who is and was brilliant, although in truth he is and was more of a generalist who knew how to hire brilliant people. He is confidently coming forward now after a suicidal depression.
He had his hakuna matata years (warning: Disney reference) while he worked for the NHS. He spent years pretending that Bitcoin didn't exist and that he didn't invent it. But now, he's making a comeback to take Bitcoin in an exciting new direction. To do this, he has legally changed his name from Bilal Khalid to James Caan, because he is the Godfather of Bitcoin.
For someone who claims he was born in 1978, the reveal was filled with tone deaf cultural references suspiciously relevant to Baby Boomers (the reveal was dedicated to Steve Jobs?), rather than a younger generation. Faketoshi's Chaldean numerology, with its Babylonian disinformation, seemed to come straight from some Illuminati mystery sweat lodge.
Wait. Did he say he worked for the NHS?